He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
