This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
