i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
