I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize