let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize