Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
