You really coming over, don't trick.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
