I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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