I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
