Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
