My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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