i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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