Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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