Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
