I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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