Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
