You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
