But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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