How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
