I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
