she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
