32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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