You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
