Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
