Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize