he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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