Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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