So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
