He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
