Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
please don't ironically join a cult
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