You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
