I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
