Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize