aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
lol hangovers are for mortals.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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