so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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