What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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