I can tuck mytits in my pants
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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