shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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