I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
