what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I am midnight drunk by noon
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
