I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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