It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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