so explain again why im purple
no
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
