my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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