Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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