I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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