I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
