i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
