K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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