You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
