The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
