I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize