i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
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