i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My life is pants optional.
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