just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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