K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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