just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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