I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
