my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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