Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
